Scamming The Scammer

My phone rang one day last year. It was a number I didn’t recognize. The man on the other end of the line introduced himself as John Global, and he had great news: I had won the lottery. He was unclear when I asked how I had won a contest I didn’t enter but I acted like a gentleman and gave the fake man with fake money my fake name…Reggie Olsen — and we were off an running. For weeks he would ring my Google voice number and I would record it. I played a very rich, bored, and lonely guy that loved to party. Of course, this infuriated the man that was trying to scam the “tax fee” for my international lottery win. He wanted me to send him 450 dollars - the maximum amount that he thought he could get without arousing suspicion from the wire service.

This is John Global leaving me a message:

John Global Calls To Give Me The Good News - I Won The Lottery! by Dig Duggan

And here’s one of the longer chats we had during our too-brief relationship. I always tried to have an excuse ready for not making it to the western union to wire my tax money to him. Some were better than others. This one was OK.

John Global Gets Bad News About His Tax Money by Dig Duggan

There’s probably an hour of this sadness, maybe I’ll post the rest of them. They need editing, and I’m lazy. They might cut down into half-way decent pieces of animation, too. Listening to this, I’m honestly not sure which of us is the worst person.